Apparently I can't just write a journal entry

Uneventful days though they may seem,
Strung together on a fragile thread
Reveal something worth looking at.

Under speculation, no second glances
But take a step back and you'll notice
Changes.
So many.
Little ones,
But always there.

Thoughts tumble through my head,
Freshly laundered;
An almost inaudible hum in the background of my mind.
Instead of separating wishes from reality
Now they blend into days full of new ideas
And the reality of the wishes begin to change.

I become now
Me.
Different from perfect visions long ago
But me, nonetheless.
The rips and hems and patches
That once I scorned as imperfections
I now recognize as character.
My character.

Take away your microscope
The magnification no longer applies.
Step away
And take me as I am.

To Do Before I Die

Angie had an excerpt from her list on her blog, and it made me want to come up with one of my own. I don't have very much on my list right now, but I'm sure I'll think of more later.

Get married in the temple

Sky dive

Write and conduct a symphony

Try frog legs

Learn a foreign language

Learn to play the cello

Be a mom

Touch a penguin (in the WILD)

Serve a mission (before marriage OR otherwise)

Own a lap dog

Visit all the temples in Utah in one week or less

Run a marathon... well... maybe a HALF marathon...

AUDITION for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

Well, that's all I can think of for now. If I think of any more I'll let you know!

Thankful Monday

I've seen a lot of my blogging friends do "Thankful Thursdays." I've been wanting to do my own, but as today is not a Thursday, you'll just have to put up with the fact that there is no alliteration going on. So here is my Thankful Monday entry:

I can't choose just one thing to write about, so I'll list a few things that have been on my mind quite a bit this week.

First and foremost, I'm so thankful for the gospel. It gives me a direction in my life that I wouldn't otherwise have, and it keeps me happy and optimistic even when things go wrong. It gives me hope in overcoming weaknesses and obstacles and provides me with an assurance of love that I don't feel anywhere else.

I'm thankful for my family. Since my high school graduation I've watched my best friends leave to serve missions all over the world, move out of the house, get married, and a host of other experiences. It was extremely hard for me at first because I was still living at home even when I was going to BYU and I felt all alone for a while. I was so used to being with my friends all the time, and all of a sudden they were gone. It took months for me to get over the lonliness, but with the discovery of the stake singles branch and multiple outings with my family I realized that life does go on. I was able to develop a greater love and appreciation for the friends I'm stuck with for all eternity. I'm so glad I can be with them forever.

After mentioning the singles branch, I can't go on without saying how thankful I am that I've been able to be a part of it. I've never felt so accepted by so many people all at once. It was just like being adopted into another happy family and the unconditional love that everyone has for each other is overwhelming.

I'm thankful for spring. I know I've mentioned this before, but I love the warm weather and the colors and sounds that come with it. Heavenly Father has created such a beautiful world for us.

Well I suppose that's all for today. I hope you have had as wonderful a week as I have!

Liberated; a poem

Intimidated
Underestimated
Slowly degraded
Mostly frustrated.

Hidden potential undiscovered

A

d
o
w
n
h
i
l
l

slope
Too steep to dig in heels
Too many wrong steps
No t h i n g to hold on to

FLAILING

DROWNING

GOING UNDER

almost gone


A sliver of light
Pierces the darkness
and rests upon
your face.

A hand
o u t s t r e t c h e d
waits patiently.

Grasping it;
a realization.

Sufficient strength
only comes with
humility
submission
responsibility
faith
and willingness to accept the strength He offers.

Guardian Angel

Good morning everybody!!

It's such a gorgeous day. I love Spring mornings (especially when I don't have school!) I've been planning on going for bike rides in the morning for a while, so last week my dad helped me pump up my tires and, wouldn't you know it, the next morning one of them was flat again. So now we have to go get a new tire. But you know... I'm okay with that. Now I can enjoy the colors and warm weather without speeding past it (because you know I'm a speed demon on a bike... haha.)

My favorite things about Spring are the colors and the rain. I love the flowers and the green grass and the popcorn popping on the apricot tree! Someone asked me the other day what my favorite flower is, and at the time I didn't really think I had a favorite. I said, "oh I like 'em all!" Tulips, roses, daisies, lilies, carnations... you name it! But just a few days ago I realized I do have one... lilacs. At the store where I work (which is actually just a little old house that has been adopted) there are these random bushes all around the yard/parking lot, and since I only

started working there in August I didn't notice until this week that they're lilac bushes! One reason that I love them so much is because they're gorgeous and the smell is simply heaven!! Another reason, the biggest reason, is because they remind me of my Grandma Jean. (Most of you know what I mean.) She had a lilac bush in her front yard and I remember whenever we would go visit my grandparents we would pick some to take in to her. I can't ever walk by a lilac bush without thinking about her.

Speaking of my grandma, this week I have felt her extra close to me. Heavenly Father is so amazing, and I'm grateful that He allows the people that we know to help us, even if it's through the veil. If ever there was a guardian angel, she's it. They really are closer than we think.

Well, I'm signing off now. I hope you all have a great week! Love ya!

Impatient

Both feet are tapping, her breathing is shallow,
Eyes steal a glance at the hands of the clock,
Fingers are fidgety, wiggly, fumbly,
Open-windowed breezes silently mock.

Infinite voices are droning and babbling.
Garbled words, meaningless, hang stale, unheard.
Into one ear and out of the other,
And though no one's list'ning, the time's not deterred.

Seconds are lifetimes, and minutes eons.
Eighty four tiles on the ceiling above.
Doodles on paper: a stick-man with horns.
Stomach is grumbling; an internal shove.

Telephones ringing and printers, they print.
Suddenly, headache: a non-welcome guest.
Finally, BREAKTIME, no moment too soon.
She gone! Now I'll let you SEE the rest.

Shortened

I CHOPPED OFF MY HAIR!!!

So last night I read this book that my mom gave me for my birthday. It's called "Makeover." It's by this LDS author, and basically it's the cliché makeover story where the main character realizes that it's what's on the inside that matters. Anyway, the girl and her mom own a beauty salon and throughout the whole book they were talking about the haircuts they were giving and it just got to me!! I wanted a haircut! So this morning after cleaning Mrs. Covington's house that's exactly what I did. I didn't even know what I wanted them to do with it, I just knew I wanted a change. So what the heck. Short.

Short, short, short. But not as short as the last time.

But yeah. I feel... invigorated!! Don't ask me why. But in all honesty, I love my hair. It's short and playful and bouncy! Yup. I said it. Bouncy.

So I took this picture with my cell phone because I needed to show you SOMETHING. It's not the best pic, but whatev.

Oh my gosh, I just realized I said "whatev" like it was a normal, everyday word. Ug. Jake is turning me into a... well... something. Something that says "whatev" and "jk" and "lol" in live conversation. I can't believe it!! I will NOT be dragged into this informal texting language!!

And we're back.

It's obvious I didn't learn the lesson the author hoped I would. Although the book DID make me feel all special and happy inside, all I really wanted was a haircut. Am I insensitive or something?