Define: Sarah

I like who I am.

I like the passion that I have for my religion; the faith that comes naturally and the feeling of having both hands clenched, white-knuckled, in muscle-spasm-turned-numbness to sturdy things like God and Truth. And the temple.

I like the words that I have to say and the overly dramatic fashion in which I say them. The songs that I sing and that stick in my head and that play in my subconscious as my life unfolds in movie form. Or at least in the way that I can see it.

I like my mission call. It fits me and I see the wisdom in it. God knows what situations I will face and what strengths of mine will come in handy. He knows what weaknesses I will have to overcome in order to make it through this life and knows that somewhere in the Philippines there has been built a place for my own personal refiners fire that is now in the process of being lit. The temperature will be just right to burn out some of these spots. Some of the more obvious ones will be easy to remove, but the ones I can't see (or won't) are festering beneath the surface and will take some prodding and pain. I just have to trust that they'll come out when the time is right.

I like my warm hair color and the shape of my nose and the fact that my lips don't require lipstick. I like my short fingernails and I like that I can't stand to wear fingernail polish. I like my weird clothes that are the kind of weird that isn't fashionable and that even though they may not make me look good, they make me feel good. I like that they're plain but have little tastes of character. Maybe that's how I would describe myself too.

You know, I even think I like that my dress size isn't a negative four. I'm not voluptuous and not concave. I'm somewhere comfortably in the middle. Soft, maybe. That's feminine too.

I like that each person in my family says "I love you" twenty three times or more before breakfast and another forty nine times before bedtime. And we mean it every time. I like that we burst out into seven-part-harmony as we clean the kitchen together after Sunday dinner or at Family Home Evening or when we go for a drive in the car or just when we sing "Happy Birthday."

I like that I can be totally at ease in a big city with traffic that causes perpetual honking and layer upon layer of buildings to the horizon. Then I can be just as wonderfully content in a place full of farm animals and the smell of horses and hay and blue jeans and lying in the grass and dirty tennis shoes perfect for working in the garden.

I like that my life is so full of little kids right now. Nannying, babysitting and teaching primary to kids of all ages is one of the joys of my life, and it all happened so suddenly. Just a few short months ago I was overly cautious and wary around small kids. They are so breakable and retain everything you teach them, good or bad. I have felt so inadequate at times, but my heart is so full when I watch my little toddler learn to walk or my preschooler learn to read or my nine-year-olds learn about the Atonement. Their humility and teachable natures are so beautiful and sweet. They're easy to love and easy to serve and I find myself constantly thinking of what more I can do for them. They are my beautiful little investigators.

I like the certainty in my life and the knowledge of my potential.