Monday, December 15, 2008

Battle

You've heard before

of a Savior,
merciful,
who waits just out of reach.

He watches you.
He weeps.
With each blow you receive
He trembles
for He knows that pain all too well.
It takes all the strength He possesses
for Him to hold back His
gentle,
powerful
Hands.

You recognize Him.
You are desperate for His company.
You long to be
l o o s e d 
from the bands which hold you fast
but you cannot meet His Gaze.

Shame steadily eats away at your heart
while He, who has done nothing wrong,
suffers with you.
Yet, as you ache
to the point of no tears,
you know you cannot break the chains
alone.

Beckoning.
Pleading.
Imploring.
He whispers your name.
You need only ask for His Rest.

In the moment of true hopelessness
your eyes,
unguarded,
reach His.

You lift a trembling hand 
toward His flawless face.
His eyes brighten
as He offers a scarred palm.

You are too weak to stand by yourself,
but He will never
never
leave you alone
as long as your fingers are stretched
toward His Hands;
as long as your eyes look up
to His Face;
as long as your heart yearns 
for His Rest.

Using all the strength you have
and crying for the strength He can give,
you know there is
not
one
thing
that could keep you from trying.
You feebly bring yourself to your knees
and come closer.

With each agonizing moment,
each tear,
it becomes easier to move
because now He knows you can
and He eagerly reaches to help.

Fingers softly meet,
and as He slackens the chains around your wrists
you fall once again
to your knees.
Not from weakness now,
but from strength;
strength you didn't know you possessed;
the strength that only comes
from Him.


Thursday, November 6, 2008

Not Now

WAIT!
This can't happen...
not now!

My life was mapped out,
scripted,
edited and revised
and in it's final draft.
I knew the whole story, and it had a happy ending.

In another lifetime of mine
long ago
this would have been a wonderful twist of fate,
a fabulous plot,
but

not now.

My head is spinning
and if the words on the pages keep rearranging themselves
I may never recapture the meaning.

But of course
I am not the Author
even though I sometimes wish I was,
and all of this desperate erasing and hurried scribbling of mine won't do much good.

The blueprints have already been sketched out
by somebody much wiser than me.
The only element I control is the main character,and I wonder: With all of these spiraling storylines and unexpected obstacles,

will I be the heroine or villain of my own story?



Monday, October 13, 2008

sarah, in the life

1.YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet, current car): Tiny Taurus
Ha! Lamest rock star ever...

2. YOUR GANGSTA STAR NAME (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Chocolate Flats

Peesh out... mah new album drop next surrrrsdai, ya'll biscutheads (......don't ask.)

3. YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN NAME (favorite color, favorite animal):

Yes, these are my children... Flying Eagle, Running Bear, oh yeah... and the insane one over there? That's Orange Penguin.

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, city where you were born): Lynne Provo

I don't really have a middle name, but if I did, this is what it would be... I can see that, I guess.

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first name): Chrsa

And how do you pronounce that, I wonder? Maybe it's Wookie.

6. SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Red Water

Oh so intimidating. :D

7. NASCAR NAME (the names of your grandfathers): Dick Douglas... or Doug Richard.

Either one sounds legit to me!

8. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME (your 5th grade teacher's last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Dibb Dover

We'll be experience some dorkiness from the west and some light showers throughout the Wasatch Front...

9. SPY NAME (your favorite season/holiday, favorite flower): Autumn Lily

Double-Oh-Seven Autumn Lily sounds better though.

10. CARTOON NAME (favorite fruit, article of clothing you are wearing right now): Raspberry Socks

Oh I can just picture it... a cute, cuddly, sugary-sweet, pink ball of fur with googly eyes and striped socks... "Come on kids! Let's all count to four backwards from purple!"

11. HIPPIE NAME (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Granolabar Aspen

HAHAHA this is the best one!!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

do you feel unresolved?

you are the only scan in my life.
but this, friend, is no fault of mine!
this unruly scanner is broken
now it won't even scan a straight

stroke.

i've endeavored and toiled and i've strived
in order to get it to work
but, sadly, this scanner's decided
to be stubborn, and frankly, a

moron.

it's determined to eat all my paper
and if it defies me once more
i swear, i won't put up with this bilge.
i'm shoving it out through the

window.

now i've just had it up to my ears
and it's all that this poor girl can take
does anyone here have an asprin?
'cause my head is beginning to

throb.

now, some guys would scream or they'd cry
or they'd kick the darn thing, just to show 'em
but me? well i'm simply a nerd
i've resorted to writing this

ditty.

Friday, September 26, 2008

my dismal dehydration


Toe, heel. Toe, heel.
One foot over the other.

The width of the curb is not very forgiving,
but,
like a gymnast on a beam,
I balance precariously.

The umbrella in my hand
is only catching the wind
and tugging me to either side;
baked brown grass to my right,
and pavement on my left.

There is no rain,
but maybe when the clouds see
how I'm waiting down here,
raincoat and all,
they will take pity on me
and spare a few drops.

Look.
I even wore my plastic boots,
the gaudy yellow ones
that blister my heels
in case of puddles, naturally.
They're called galoshes,
but that word gets stuck in my throat.

It's just my luck.

There has never been
a dryer
umbrella.

Monday, September 1, 2008

love this word

cantankerous

adjective
bad-tempered, argumentative, and uncooperative : a crusty, cantankerous old man

**************************

Don't talk to me
I'm cantankerous
I'm ornery and rude
and irate.

If I say something now
that hurts you somehow,
forgive me.
I'm just in a state.

A state of hysteria
weird, but emphatic
So please, keep your distance
For now

Though tomorrow may bring
more "cantankerous-ing"
Understand, I'm just having
A cow.

In the main,
I'm an angel
A regular gem.
Though my halo hangs
rather askew,

But remember, my dear
when bugs fly in YOUR ear
that "cantankerous" will describe
YOU.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

My All Night Encounter with Mr. Potter

Last night, I decided that I needed to reread Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. (That's book seven, in case you weren't positive.) I'd only read it once before -- the day after it was released -- and that was in a hurry because I wanted to know how it all ended. I read it in less than 10 hours that day and didn't remember much of the story, so of course I wanted to take it nice and slow this time as to let the meaning and events sink in. So at about eight o'clock I sunk into my cozy armchair, clad in warm pajamas and wrapped enchilada-style in a fleece blanket, intent on going to bed at a decent hour. Yeah. Little red lights and sirens should have been going off in my head about then, but apparently my family has been correct in assuming that the wiring in my brain is a little off.

You'd think after nineteen years of reading I would have recognized the pattern. So here's a rule I'm writing for myself, which I'm sure I will break in the future, but it's worth a try: DO NOT BEGIN BOOKS LATE AT NIGHT IF YOU PLAN TO GET ANY REST WHATSOEVER.

So there I am, absentmindedly munching on dry cereal, chewing ferociously at the intense parts, when my alarm clock buzzed annoyingly. Confused, I glanced over at the dresser to see neon numbers garishly glaring at me with the clear message that either my brothers were playing a sick joke on me, or that I had been sucked into this wizarding world once again. 6:30.

Not seeing any point in relinquishing the book for my bed, I quickly finished and hopped into the shower, only now realizing that I hadn't shifted positions once the entire night. My neck groaned in stiff, sharp pain as I tilted my head toward the shampoo. Ouch.

Well I'm off to bed now. No books or anything of the like for me tonight. Just a niiiiice, waaaaarm, relaaaaaxing.... zzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZ.....